i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
