I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
