I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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