I seem to have left my pride at pride
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
foreskin is a definite game changer
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
