just come out here and I will go home with you...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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