Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
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But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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