i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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