maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
