take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize