well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize