yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
