Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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