it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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