I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
