our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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