I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
