How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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