onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i think my cat just said my name.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
