Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
