omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
