Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My cat gives me a boner
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize