Say something about gay babies.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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