every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Randomize
