Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Are my feet made of real feet?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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