he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
