nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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