So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
