Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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