is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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