I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
