Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
