I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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