You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
