She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You took a bar mat shot.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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