do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize