I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
