hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You don't make any sense
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