Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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