you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize