I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
