Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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