I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
