Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
