champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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