I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize