sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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