I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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