Bisexual people are plain selfish.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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