Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
