thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
