No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
