i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
