he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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