my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
