"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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