haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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