one might say we're banned from that church
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
