I love black thongs
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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