He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
tonight lets celebrate not being married
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
