return my video game
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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