She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
