You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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