so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
