I smell stomach acid.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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