I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
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I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
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How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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