Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
